An open letter to Zam Andrew Jefri

Hi Zam (or whatever name that you want it to be). Oh sorry!. Can I call you Zam? Or you prefer me to address you as Tengku since you’re Putera Jefri Al Bolkiah’s son? Uh..I’ll stick to Zam lah. By the way, how are you dude? I hope you are recovering from your “open-heart surgery” few days ago and continue to live and read my letter.

Dear Zam.

I envy you. Gosh, you have such a wonderful and exciting life! Never have I heard or known any person in this world as lucky, talented and as wealthy as you! Let me remind you of what a great life you’re having!

1. Damn you got the looks that melt every chicks within 30-meter radius!

2. You have royalty blood dude!! Brunei lagi!! And don’t forget your grandma is a Kedahan Royalty as well!..Yellow Blood dude..untouchable..

3. Do you know that you’re a brainy too?? Mechanical engineering lecturer at a university in Washington, USA! WTH? You must be one of the few brainiest anak orang Melayu! a Datukship should be coming your way in a few days! Or maybe a street shall be named after you..

4. You’re a talented, brilliant songwriter with a voice that could smash Conan the Barbarian down to tears doug! A mech. Engineering lecturer with a released singles..damn!!


Oh! Zam the great.

Beyond all your greatness, I do have some questions that I need to understand especially on your methods in living your love life. Some of your actions confused me.. but maybe I’m just a normal guy unlike you, a bright and sensitive guy with full of flairs. Here are the questions: Before that, first I would like to apologize because I have no experience in having a relationship through the internet. Please help me understand ya..

1. Why are you avoiding phone calls? Why text messaging, emails or YMs only?

2. Why are you avoiding webcams chatting? If I were your 6 months steady girlfriend, I would love to have webcam chats with you.

3. Since both of you have known each other for ages and now in a serious relationship, during your last trip back to Malaysia, why didn’t you take some initiative to go and meet your girlfriend? Or maybe give her a call? I’m sure the usage of your MAXIS number is much cheaper here compared to in the States.

4. Logical thinking, takkan couple tak berjumpa kot?

5. Why oh just why are you so mad about you girlfriend having lunch with her colleagues? And a couple of times you even threw a tantrum for going out with female colleagues. Why?

6. Why is that every time you guys bergaduh, mesti you sakit jantung?


Oh Zam.

I don’t know what you are trying to pull here. Do you know that you’re messing and ruining ones heart and feelings over here? Do you know that she cries at night, constantly in need to be comforted by family and friends because of your open-heart surgery fantasy? By the way, there are no such thing as “minor “ heart surgery, relatives tak boleh suka-suka nak terjah masuk hospital and perform surgery untuk sanak-saudara dia walaupun nenek sedara dia tu top surgeon and lastly, 3 hours je? Come on man? You can do better than that! Do some research please..Plus I don’t know that in ICU, they allow patients to log in their Friendster account?

Now, you’ve made her belief that you’re in a critical situation, and your “mom” is updating her by sms on your “condition”. I can guess that your fantasy is coming to an end. I know you’ve failed to get rid of her with your pregnant ex-girlfriend stories. Takut ke? But what worries me is that you blamed her for your “sakit jantung”. Why la dude? Kalau kau nak “mati” pun, “mati” sorang-sorang la!..why must you drag her into your hell hole sekali?

Dude, if all of your “bull-shits” are TRUE, be a man and proof it. Stop all the tall tales, show yourself and speak up like as if you have balls.

Ingat Tuhan please.

Dad? Ayahanda? Babu?

(Diambil dari Sinetron Perang Bintang)

Someone asked me this question the other day. “..esok, hang nak anak hang panggil hang apa??..”

At first, I thought..awalnya! Uhm is only 8 weeks plus and I haven’t come to my (full) senses that soon I’ll be a ‘father’ (InsyaAllah)..but after a second thought, alah! Let’s have some fun!

Anyway, my answer to the someone’s question was ‘Bro’. Which clearly indicates that I’m still miles away from the land of ‘Fatherhood’. I jokingly added, ‘Sharel’..which reminds me of the Simpsons..”Homer!..Homer..”..A definite NO NO!..i would not want my kids to call me by my name..

OK..let’s start from the top. My dad called Atok, ‘Apak’. My brother and I call my dad, ‘Apak’ also. But ‘Apak’ sounds old-fashioned, like in the P.Ramlee’s 60s-70s era..”Bapak, bapak mau kahwin lagi?”..

’Ayahanda’ macam cool! Very “Bangsawan-ish” but maybe too long for a child’s first word..last-last bunyi yang lekat..”Enda..Enda..”

‘Father’ pun sound cool also! “Luke..i’m your father..” ZZiung zziung (lightsaber)..

‘Ayah’, ‘Abah’ ni ok jela..but somehow I don’t know why? I always picture ‘Ayah’,’abah’ ni perut buncit, misai, pendek, spectacles, short sleeved vertical belang-belang shirt.

Izza calls her dad, ‘Papa’. Not a problem..hanya until today I’m still ‘janggal’ nak sebut ‘Papa’..plus Papa is so ‘over-rated’, so ‘mainstreamed’.. no offence to all the ‘Papas’ out there..‘Papa’ is not my favourite, so I will skip this one.

‘Dada’ and ‘Daddy’..uhmmm..to me ‘Dada’ sounds lame. Bunyi macam iklan Pampers..instead of “A’Aaaaa”, tukar jadi “Da’Daaa”..Daddy? bolehlah consider kot..sebab orang cool pakai ‘Daddy’..Puff Daddy, Kris Kross’s Mack Daddy, Big Daddy Kane, Trick Daddy..

I have check names for father in foreign languages also . There are few interesting ones like:

Italian- babbo ; pap
Spanish- padre
Afrikaans- vader – (favourite!!)
Croatian- otac
Polish- ojciec ; tata
Portuguese- pai
Romanian- tata ; parinte ; taica
Romansh- bab
Samoan- tama
Sardinian (Limba Sarda Unificada)- babu

Hmm..babu..babu ok?

SP-Kg Sg. Coh-SP-Kuantan-SP

Uhm's 7W 3D - Photo shoot

Last night we had Uhm's first photo shoot at Amanjaya Specialist Sungai Petani. Handsome like the father kan? ok lah! cute like the mother? Heheh.. Uhm is only 10.5mm in size, 7 weeks and 3 days old. Paling best when Dr. Tan showed us Uhm's heart..a small blinking dot like the one on Ultraman's chest. MasyaAllah! i nearly cried!!After that he pumped up the volume and blasted Uhm's heartbeat! dug! dug! dug! dug! dug! Terus grabbed my phone and shoot the monitor!..Check out Uhm's first video shoot !!

The Adventure of Buku Merah

Last Sunday we went to Hospital Sungai Petani to get Izza her 'Buku Merah'. This book is very famous and everyone i know seems to know about this 'Buku Merah'. "Ahad ni aku nak pi hospital la.."oh! ambik buku Merah ye?" or "Hang dah ambik 'buku merah' dah?"..I bet JK Rowling pun jealous dengan buku ni.

We didn't know that we have to register at a Klinik Kesihatan je..anyway the next appointment akan ke sana.

Sesampai di Hospital lama sungai Petani..

1) Registration of Buku Merah. Secara tidak langsungnya nurse itu telah menjadi salah seorang extras dalam filem Sejarah Hidup Kami. Pertama kali juga kami telah menggunakan alamat rumah baru!

2) Next step, Ukur berat dan tinggi.

3) Next, blood test. Wife cukup takut dengan jarum but luckily the Nurse cukup berpengelaman

4) Ujian Air Kencing. Di sini boleh nampak..Lagi besar perut, lagi "experienced" lah dia.. semua macam dah terror.tak payah instruction, masing-masing dah faham..drop buku, ambik cup, masuk tandas, drop cup at counter.

5) Waiting process..surprisingly that day not as long as we've expected..average 10-15 minutes of waiting in between checkpoints..

6) Medical check up by Nurse berpangkat. Few general questions were asked here (tarikh last period, medical history etc.) Acid Folic were given by Nurse berpangkat here.

7) PSP is indeed a good compinion during the waiting process. Higly recommended

8) Last stage - final say of the day by the MD. Sempat tanya what can or cannot eat and jawapan yang sama. semua boleh makan. Even nenas pun boleh..tapi tak boleh banyak. But like other doctors said, tak salah pun kalau ikut pantang larang orang tua-tua..sometimes ada kebenarannya..The MD sempat strike a pose lepas mintak kebenaran nak ambik gambar.."ini first time ni orang buat macam ni.." aku cakap.."ni sejarah Doc.."

Missing you..

Tiba-tiba teringat dekat my late Por Por. This year the family didn't celebrate Chinese New Year. So instead of the big makan and Yee Sang hosted by Uncle Bill, Mom ajak some of them to our house for a small get together and makan-makan.

This song suddenly came up on my mp3 playlist. I dedicate this piece in remembrance of my lovely Por-Por.

It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday
Boyz II Men


How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.

I thought we'd get to see forever
But forever's gone away
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I don't know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where we've been
And what we've been through.

If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it's worth all the wait
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

p/s: kenapa lagu-lagu duka lara best?

Braving the First-Trimester

(ehem! check out my new 50mm F1.7)

Sejak Izza ber “Um” ni, banyaklah petua-petua dan tips yang kami dapat from family and friends especially on braving the First-trimester. For your information, the First-trimester period is where all the major body organs and systems of the fetus are forming and this is a very critical period where most miscarriages occur during this time. To know more, just click here.

Here I have compiled all the tips and petuas I’ve received. Some maybe true, some are quite outrageous… you do the judgment. Anyway in medical, our doctor said there is no pantang-larang, but she said also there is no harm in dengar nasihat orang-orang tua dan yang berpengalaman.

So tanpa melengahkan masa lagi.."Hey girls...hey boys.. superstar Djs..Here we goooo...!"

1. Ramai cakap jangan makan makanan yang “tajam”. Contohnya Nenas, tebu, lime etc.

2. Ramai cakap jangan makan Raw food..Contohnya Sushi, sate dan barbeques (sometimes ada part yang tak masak)

3. Somebody said jangan makan kepala ikan – nanti anak tu otak lembab

4. Z cakap dari awal ni makan kismis – bagi otak dia cerdas

5. Ibu mertua ku suruh amalkan Surah Maryam (Juz ke 19)

6. Kak Ipar dulu amalkan Yaasiin setiap malam – results: easy birth

7. Ramai and doc cakap no caffeine, alcohol, carbonated drinks and my cigarette.

8. M dan A cakap kurangkan naik tangga dan membawa kereta.

9. M cakap juga jangan naik motor.

10. R dan M cakap jangan kuat-kuat semasa menjalankan “tanggung jawab” sebagai seorang
suami.

11. Y cakap pula jangan menjalankan “tanggung jawab” itu, Nanti Um lemas. (this one is totally not valid..dan kami beramai-ramai telah mengutuk Y, although he said he read it somewhere..)

12. Ada orang cakap jangan banyak makan kicap. Nanti Um hitam…hmmm?

13. Kakak Ipar cakap drink lots of milk and soy beans

14. Ramai cakap masa ni mulut tu jangan celupar, jangan mengutuk2..nanti Um inherit

15. Orang tua-tua cakap tak boleh pergi mengail ikan.

16. Ramai cakap don’t simply take any medicine. There is a special ubat for preggies..

17. Ramai cakap jangan sekali-kali jatuh.

18. Ada orang cakap masa ni selalulah tengok gambar orang-orang yang cantik dan handsome.
InsyaAllah (siap ada InsyaAllah tu!..) Um akan jadi se lawa orang-orang di gambar tu..

19. MT cakap jangan makan makanan yang sejuk-sejuk

20. Tips from email forwards: Do lots of mathematical exercise, eat fruits and keep a healthy living.

21. B messaged pulak – “good luck in dealing with her pregnancy hormones”..hmmm

22. Sungguh ramai cakap don't get too excited during the First-Trimester. R even told me not to buy any baby stuff. Tunggu sampai 6-7 months.

Doakan kami melepasinya dengan tenang tanpa apa-apa rintangan ya..InsyaAllah


Anymore tips?

Da daaa daaaaa~

Sedang Sharel (bukan nama sebenar) yang mengenakan baju pyjamas biru kegemarannya, memetik gitar tercari-cari tune menarik di atas tilamnya yang empuk, isterinya, Izza (bukan nama sebenar) sedang duduk bersila, kusyuk menggosok kain.


Sharel : Da da daaaa~ Da da da, da da daaa daaaa~..

Izza: Bagus lagu tu Sharel,..Ia sedap didengar

Sharel : Da da daaaa~ Ya..usaha ku yang pertama..(hidung mengembang angkuh)

Aku cuma ada Izza dan muzik dalam dunia ini..tapi aku puas hati..

Kemudian, dengan penuh manjanya, Sharel bersandar ke dinding sambil menguap menutup mulut dengan penuh kesopanan.

Izza pun menyambung semula menggosok baju.

Izza: Muziklah nyawa mu..

Petikan gitar terhenti

Izza: Aku..aku mengandung anak kita yang pertama....(hik! tersipu-sipu)

Sharel : zzzzzzzz

Setelah mendapati tiada respon dari suaminya, Izza pun bangkit dengan penuh kasih sayang dan manja, menghempuk gitar kapok itu ke kepala suami tercintanya sebanyak 3 kali..


Minit sebelum Izza menghempuk gitar ke arah suaminya (Gambar sekadar hiasan sahaja)