How to cheat in your exams?

This semester only, 2 students were caught cheating during their final exam. Surprisingly, both are girls. They were caught with a note at their hand. According to the rules, if they were found guilty, the girls will be charged with suspension of 2 semesters (one year), one semester for the note and another for cheating. 2 years suspension is a lot my friend! If I were them, I will be so depressed, demoralized and I do not think I can gain my momentum after the one year “break”.

So let me share with you my friend’s method on how to cheat during examination. Actually, my friend has more, but I think this is the most effective.

First, after realizing that you have to seat for an exam paper the next day, leave the disco, drive safely back to the house/hostel, treat yourself with a jug of hot Nescafe kow, fold a piece of A4 paper, make sure that the size will fit in comfortably in your underwear (for girls, a full cup bra is recommended, for boys, please skip the G-strings..one day je..after that, nak pakai tu pakai lah..). Proceed with your “study” and “revision” by filling up notes from the textbook systematically in every inch and space of the folded paper. You can now declare the paper as your “lifesaver”. To honour with full respect to the “lifesaver”, give it an honorary name such as “Superman” or “Toyol”.

Step 1-Read, identify and memorize.
Read the questions thoroughly. If you are confident, answer all and leave the “not sures”. Before proceeding to the next step, Understand and memorize the “not sure” questions.

Step 2-Drama
Put your left hand gently on your abs. Bend down to the table, lift your right arm and shake as if you’re shivering, try your best to grab the attention of the examiner on duty. When asked, put out a distressed face and tell him/her that you think the nasi lemak you had earlier sudah basi. Excuse yourself, run to the nearest WC. Important: RUN! Can’t run? Brisk walk is acceptable.

Step 3-Read, Identify, memorize and a little drama.
This is where your “lifesaver” comes in. While Reading, Identifying and memorizing the notes from the lifesaver, do some small distressed sound. This is to give an impression to the examiner waiting outside that you’re currently going through a “rough” time in the WC. Use that time wise and effectively because there is no second or third WC. trips unless you’re a champion drama king/queen.

All the best!

Any other methods?

P/s: to the examiners, you know what to do..